5 year plan

I am sure we have all heard it, where do you plan to be in 5 years. Of course we always expect the best for ourselves and never include any type of heartache or difficulty along the way. It all looks so clear as we trudge ahead. Little do we know what lies in wait for us. It was 5 years ago to the very day actually that I found myself in an empty living room with boxes all around crying. I knew this was it, I was going home, something I neither planned nor wanted. I was devastated. I had quit a job I loved, said good bye to dear friends and watched as the first 1 1/2 year of our marriage got put into a trailor. We were going to live with my mom and dad, (kathy and jim, something I swore I would never do while married) back in Fairview a place I thought was nice to visit (but promised myself I would never live there again). Little did I know the plans that our Heavenly Father had in store for us. I was expecting Cambree and had gone in the hospital right before thanksgiving that year. I had already been in the hospital 3 times that year and Ben had made me promise after the 2nd time if I went in again I would quit my job. Well pride got the better of me and it wasnt until I was pregnant that I realized this job was literally killing me and a baby would not survive under these conditions with my body and the stress of it all. I knew the minute I went in the hospital that I was going to have to quit, but it wasnt until 3 people said I should move home that it actually entered my mind. It took me 2 weeks to finally say it out loud and admit that somethings got to give. I called my boss and told her sobbing hysterically. Ben and I had prayed and fasted and new this was best. Come Dec. 12, 2003 our lives were changing drastically. We had no jobs, no income and no home with a baby on the way. All things pointed to... this will never work, what are you thinking? We new in our hearts that this is what the Lord wanted for us. We put our faith in him and with a leap of faith we left Provo with not much to show for ourselves. For 2 weeks Ben searched for a job, to no avail. My insurance had a year left and we were needing a job that would have good benefits. Then it happened. My dad (Eddie) told Ben on Christmas day that there was a position opening up at the telephone company. He went to the interview and was hired. Miracles were beginning to happen. You had to work for the company for 3 months for insurance to kick in. On April 1, 2004 our insurance started. Cambree was born 26 days later and came with a hospital bill of 150,000. We paid absolutely nothing and due to Afflac actually began a nice little savings account. It was while I was in the hospital that I also found out that I qualified for disability which would give us money each month. The gratitude we felt at that time for what the Lord had done for us and continues to do is something that cannot be put into words. Under all accounts I probably should not have made it through having Cambree, but thankfully the Lord had a plan for me that included being here to raise my child. I was told when she was a few months old that I had a 50% chance that I would live 5 years. Wow, what kind of a five year plan is that? But again the lord has placed wonderful things ahead of me that have led me to where I am and the health that I am in. I could not ask for more. I am so grateful for how well our beautiful daughter did in the hospital I never thought I would get off oxygen, but it came with yet again a miraculous story behind it. Having a beautiful home at our age was nothing I ever even considered. We are blessed beyond belief. It took me nearly 2 years to finally be okay with living in Fairview and now you couldnt pay me to leave.

Dealing with my husbands broken leg is nothing I ever want to do again, he is still dealing with the repurcussions. But this is something that led him to the position he has at work which has led us to very good opportunities. He is happy at work and that is something that everyone wants and I am especially grateful for. I always feared that I had ruined Bens dreams by us having to move here, but yet again the Lord knows best.

We would have never met these fabulous people had we not gone through what we have gone through. I know that the Lord led us to them and although it came through some terrible measures we are so grateful to have them in our lives. This is Ben's dads brother and his family. They are absolutley amazing and it feels like we have always known them.

So all in all we never really know where we will be in 5 years, but as I look back I can see the Lords hand in every step of the way. I am so grateful for His plan for me and thankful that he deems me worthy enough to receive the spirit to lead the way. I would have never chosen this path,the path I had in store would not have led to all the wonderful blessings we have. That I am sure of. I am so thankful that we listened and only pray that I can continue to be led by a loving Heavenly Father that sees the whole picture.

No more tonsils

It has been two weeks since Cambree had her tonsils out. I thought that I would give a little update and let you all know how well she did and how brave she is. What an amazing little girl I have. We had to leave our house at 5:45 in the morning to get paperwork filled out by 7:00. Cambree didnt seem nervous at all. They gave her some versed to relax her and oh boy did she put on a show. I wish I knew how to download videos on here because it was hilarious. We were laughing so hard at our poor little girls expense. But really people what do you expect, its Ben and Emilee we are talking about. We always get a kick out of stuff like this. Anyway, everything went smooth. She did so good, so much better than I expected. The first night home I thought for sure we would be up with her, but she slept through the night soundly. I think it is the best nights sleep she has had in over a year. Yeah for no tonsils!

Cambree playing with her dad before they called us back, I wish we could all be this happy at 7:00 a.m.

A last look at her tonsils before they are gone. Yes, those two giant things that look like tiny brains, those are her tonsils

Don't I look lovely, ugh morning did not agree with me.

Cambree contemplating what is about to happen.

She is rearing to go

I have the craziest girl. who is this happy before surgery?

After surgery. My poor baby. She was not happy now.

They gave her a crown and a purse. They were so sweet with her.

Jealous?

The three of us enjoying the concert. Cambree is getting her tonsils out tomorrow, (I know yuck.) Anyway, we decided to get her a build a bear (bunny). She had so much fun and was so surprised. I thought that this would be fun for her and get her excited rather than scared. I told her we would have her bunny for her as soon as she got out of surgery. I just pray it all goes well. As for the are you jealous part? Well I found on my email Wednesday night that I had gotten an email from the CFF (Cystic Fibrosis Foundation) telling me I could receive up to 6 free tickets for the New Kids on the Block concert or as they are now referred to NKOTB. I know how crazy right? Well I looked at the website and saw that Natasha Beddingfield was opening for them, along with Lady Gaga. Okay, Lady Gaga is crazy, but we love Natasha Beddingfield and she was awesome! Even Ben enjoyed her. As the concert started Cambree looked at me and said, "Mom, Im kind of scared." She really was scared through the whole thing. I think all the people screaming and how loud it was was a bit too much for her. Ben said we were leaving as soon as Natasha was over, but I made him stay for the opening song of NKOTB. It was a little ridiculous how old they are trying to be a boy band again, but whatever they can still get a crowd. Anyway, I know you are all jealous;) Cambree washing her bunny Cambree dressing her bunny Cambree loving her bunny! (oh and don't you just love her hair, I didnt really post pics of it when we got it done in August. I did however have a man tell me that her hair is much cuter than my hair. Thank you, I think.)

Cambree hasnt put her bunny down since she got it.

Cambree and Ben rockin out at the concert. Cambree really was swinging her arm in the air with the rest of them.

Oh so cute.

The stage, Not a great pic, but I had to try. We were on the floor on the 32nd row, not to shabby for free.

Cambree and mom

Trick or Treat!

Since its rare that I post pictures on here right after the fact, I thought I would try to get on the ball. Here are some Halloween pictures from my YW halloween party and from trunk or treating yesterday. I let Cambree choose what she wanted to be this year and she said, "a superhero." I think its from playing with all her boy friends that started it, but I must say she makes a lovely batgirl. Also for your enjoyment there are some lovely pictures of my husband who stole my costume while also stealing my thunder. Its just not the same after he's paraded around town in it. Pink batgirl with her right hand man. The Spartan cheerleaders from SNL, AKA, my husband, and brother Spencer. Their goal: to win Jazz tickets from the company. I sure hope they succeeded because that may be the only thing worth the horror.

My nieces and nephews at the parade. Adorable!

Pink Batgirl in all her superpower glory

Pics from our Halloween party with the Young Men and Young Women. I am on the front in the cheerleading costume that my husband so proudly wore. If you are in for a good gut wrenching, side grabbing laugh click on this link and watch in horror. Turn off the music on the side and turn up the volume, you will want to hear this.

http://www.centracom.com/halloween/cheers.html

So now we are on to the next holidays. We have already started watching Christmas movies this morning.

My Quiz

So for those that havent taken my quiz it is right there on the right hand side. I do have to say that question 5 is wrong. It is supposed to read, What was my job after I was married? So answer it as though that is what it said. So Amelia you actually got that question right. Good job:) And for Liz that got 100% who knew you would know me best! Anyway, just wanted to clarify.

Where Ive Been

Well I have been out of the hospital nearly one month and it only seems like it has been a couple of weeks. The first two weeks home were not great. It takes a lot to come out of a bed for a month. I lost a lot of muscle mass and was a bit frustrated. I am still not back to where I want to be but at least I have energy back. We decided that we needed to take a little break and get away from everything so we thought we would go spend a few days in St. George. We had some friends meet us down there and we had a good time. Happy Birthday to Jacob by the way, I am glad we were able to spend it with you. It was fun being with you guys for a bit. Then our family stayed down from Fri. the 3rd until Tues. the 7th. We then headed on down to California. We decided that we would go to California on the Thurs. before we left. I still can't believe we did it. We spent the first night at Bens aunt and uncle Kizerians. It was so much fun to spend time with them and get to know them better. We learned a lot about Bens heritage and wow, what amazing people he comes from. His ancestors came over from Armania and it is a pretty remarkable story. We also learned more about his dad and the circumstances that occurred. We found out that it was within minutes that his obituary was almost not in the paper and we would have never found these people. I know the Lord truly had a hand in it and how grateful we are that He did. It has truly been a blessing in our lives. Then it was on to fun fun and more fun. We went to Disneyland for 3 days straight. We went with Bens aunt Kathi and uncle Bull and his cousin and her family. They also had some friends down there. We had such a good time. It went way to fast and we were exhausted when we got home on Saturday, but it was well worth it. I am so happy we got away. Here are a few pics of Disneyland. Micky Jack O'Lantern All the kids with Kathi and Bull One of the floats in the parade, Ursula scared all of the kids. Cambree with Minnie Just the three of us Cambree showing off her face paint After our second night at Disney, she was out. Standing in front of the big candycorn. It was decorated so cute for Halloween. Getting the car cleaned for our trip 2 peas in a pod Some of the decorations Dancing with Chip The picture you have to get because you are there.

Tender Moments

Tonight I had the pleasure of having dinner with my wonderful husband and beautiful daughter, no not at home as hoped but in the Cafeteria of the hospital. What more could a girl ask for? I have been assured that I will go home tomorrow. As we were sitting there, Cambree doing her special show for us a song came on over the overhead that I hadn't heard for a while. It is truly one of my favorites and one that I associate with my daughter. I told her to listen to the song because it reminded me of her. As I listened to the words with her eyes smiling at me, tears began to well up in my eyes. I looked at my husband and tears were also welling up in his eyes. It was a special moment and a great reminder that no matter the ups and downs that our little family is asked to deal with we are so incredibly blessed that only tears of joy can explain. In My Daughter's Eyes In my daughter's eyes I am a hero I am strong and wise and I know no fear But the truth is plain to see She was sent to rescue me I see who I wanna be In my daughter's eyes In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal Darkness turns to light and theworld is at peace This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak I find reason to believe In my daughter's eyes And when she wraps her hand around my finger Oh it puts a smile in my heart Everything becomes a little clearer I realize what life is all about It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough It's giving more when you feel like giving up I've seen the light It's in my daugter's eyes In my daughter's eyes I can see the future A reflection of who I am and what will be Though she'll grow and someday leave Maybe raise a family When I'm gone I hope you see how happyshe made me For I'll be there In my daughter's eyes And as I read these words again the same emotions overwhelm me.

My Talk

Well I was not able to get out of the hospital in time to give my talk but the Stake Pres. still asked if I would have someone read it. I asked my oldest brother who is also my bishop. I am still residing in the east wing of this lovely palace. I have no idea when I will get out but if you feel up to reading here is my talk. Also if you still want to leave your email for when I go private you can. I will be changing in a few days to a week. D&C 98 v 2-3Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament—the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted. Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord. As many of you know I was born with a disease called Cystic Fibrosis. Due to this I have had to be hospitalized many times. In Feb. of this year I got very sick and ended up going in the hospital. It seems that most of my clarity comes while I am there. Maybe that is why I go in so frequently, the lord is just trying to teach me a few things. Before this hospital stay I received a blessing and in it I was told that I needed to take this time I was given to really know what I needed to be doing in my life. Usually I am told I will get better and it will be a short stay so I was a little taken a back by this and didnt quite know what to think. I decided to engulf myself full bore into what I was told. I seldom watched Tv during the day which usually in the hospital this is all I do just to relieve the quiet. I read many talks and prayed more earnestly than I had in a while. After about a week I still didnt feel as if I had gained any insight. I was trying not to get frustrated since these things do take time. Finally I decided one day to just listen and as I listened I wrote down thoughts that came to my mind. After looking at what I wrote I was amazed at some of the things that I was told.I then prayed about these things and knew with all of my heart that they truly came from the Lord. A lot of my answers had to do with my health and what I needed to do in order to get healthier than I have been in years. I left the hospital firedup and ready to go. As we all so often feel after receiving that personal revelation knowing what the Lord has in store for us.I knew my task at hand and knew with the Lords help nothing could stop me. I began an extreme exercise program and honestly felt better than I did in a long time. I was able to do more things and just felt overall good. Then comes the opposition. The apostle Paul in talking to those who thought that a new testimony, a personal conversion, or a spiritual baptismal experience would put them beyond trouble— says, “Call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions.” “Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. “For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. The opposition does come it is inevitable it tests our faith. The Lord tests us to know our faithfulness and see if we trulyare worthy of the blessings He is so willing to give. I have to say that my patience began to waver. After 5 months of doing all these things I thought I was supposed to be doing, nothing changed, at least from a medical standpoint. My lung functions had not increased. I was very discouraged. I asked Ben to give me a blessing. In my blessing I was told that my physical health had increased in more ways than one test could show, and again reassured me of my goals I had set for myself. I was back on track. I guess I thought since I was doing what I knew I was supposed to that it wouldnt easy, but would happen sooner than the Lord was having it happen. Thus thinking in my time not His. Neal A. Maxwell says: “Patience is tied very closely to faith in our Heavenly Father. Actually, when we are unduly impatient, we are suggesting that we know what is best—better than does God. Or, at least, we are asserting that our timetable is better than His” It is at our times of Revelation that we feel peace, as if nothing can shake our faith. Whether it be taking Moronis challenge of praying with a sincere heart and receiving an answer or being touched by a lesson in church that again strengthens our testimony, but when the opposition arises will we remain strong in our faith? Will we remember our experiences as promptings from our heavenly father,or will we put them off as something we came up with on our own? Will we have the patience talked about in D&C 98? Will we have the faith to put all things on the Lord and have the attitude of "not my will, but thine be done?" I wish that I could stand before you today and say that Im able to answer yes to all of these questions when faced with opposition but over the past few weeks things occurred that as they often do that I was not prepared for. About a month ago I began to get sick. After a few days I knew I needed to be hospitalized, this in itself didnt frustrate me and the progress I had made. I knew eventually I would have to go back in he hospital. I had been out for record time in 6 years so I saw that as another stepping stone and didnt complain. The day before I came into the hospital Pres. Mecham stopped me after my brothers homecoming and asked me to speak. He gave me the scripture reference that I read previously and I went home and looked it up. As soon as I read it I began to cry. It was as if it was an answer to my prayers. The Lord was telling me to have patients my prayers have been heard and they will be answered with an immutablecovenant, immutable meaning Not subject or susceptible to change. I went in the hospital one day later with this scripture close to my heart. I figured it would be a regular hospital visit with no complications. The second day there experiences occured that I could not have anticipated. I felt as though I was blind sited. I began to cough up blood. I have done this on a few other occassions. I thought it would just be a bit and then I would be done with it. Well it got to the point where more action needed to be taken. They would need to do a procedure that would cotterize my lung. I was a little nervous but felt peace knowing this was what needed to be done. As I was lying on the table getting ready for the procedure to begin the words began to come to my mind peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth give I unto you. I knew it was a scripture that I have heard many times yet I could not bring it fully to my rememberance. A few days later as I felt much without hope which is a feeling that very seldom occurs, wondering if it was all some sort of illusion that I had conjured in my mind the words came to me again, and I decided I better look it up to see just what it stated. John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. I read these words and the tears began to flow. I knew that my Heavenly Father was yet again answering my prayers and staying near me especially through my moments of doubt and weakness. He yet again gave me the words that I so desperately needed. I truly felt my Saviors loving arms around me and knew that all was in His hands. We cannot assume that because we have been inspired by the Lord to know of things to come that those things will come easy. As I contemplated the things that the Lord had told me at times it seemed like a daunting task and how could it all come to be. I have learned that we cannot put limitations on the Lord because the world says it is not possible. Our God is a God of Miracles and if he has said it will be done he will hold to his word with an "immutable covenant" as long as we do what hehas inspired us we should do. My favorite scripture growing up is found in 1 Nephi chapter 17:49-51 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto them that they should murmur no more against their father; neither should they withhold their labor from me, for God had commanded me that I should a build a ship. And I said unto them: If God had commanded me to do all things I could do them. If he should command me that I should say unto this water, be thou earth, it should be earth; and if I should say it, it would be done. And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship? I have often been told there are things that I cannot do because of my illness, but the Lord has had other plans for me and has helped me to know His goals for me therefore helping His will to become my will. I pray this is something we can all do having the patience that is required and knowing that our Heavenly Father is with us to lead and direct us. I would like to close by reminding us that our lord and Savior Jesus Christ is completely aware of us and all that we go through. He has been through it and therefore is able to give us comfort in our time of need. I know my Savior lives this is his gospel and he loves each and every one of us unconditionally.

Going Private!

So I have decided that i need to go back to being private. Its not because of any one thing. Or any person on here. I would love for everyone that loves to read this to post their email address so i can invite you. I am only doing this because there are a few people that I would really not like reading it and I don't know that they have found it yet, but there are ways that they can and I would rather feel comfortable knowing they are not. Thank you for all your love and support and I hope you will still want to read!

An Amazing Experience

Well it turns out that things as usual don't happen the way we expect. I am currently still residing in 2E at the university of utah. I had crazy heart issues on mon and had to move to the 4th floor overnight to have medicine that re-charges my heart and then continues to monitor until the next day. Then on tuesday I had a fever and just felt crappy. I could tell that things werent going in the direction that they needed. My docs wed. came in and told me I was most likely staying longer. Needless to say I was pretty upset. I had called the stake presidency the saturday before to tell them I could speak and he told me that they truly felt like I would be there so they hadnt changed anything on the program. So I said, "well, I will take your word for it." I finished my talk Sunday and all this started happening on Monday and then told I wouldnt be out for the weekend. My dad was coming up this way for business and so I asked him if he could give me a blessing. It was truly an amazing blessing and gave me such peace and comfort beyond explanation O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the atrump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people! 2: Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and acome unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth. Not that i view myself as Moroni but I had such amazing experiences yesterday and the joy and the peace and happiness that has yet to leave me and hopefully won't for a long time. it is truly the greatest feeling. I wish that I could explain to people and I pray that I can always remember this feeling to know that I am going to be okay and things are going to start to get better. I pray that I can look back on this day with absolute truth to the things I was told in a blessing and never get discouraged or down but to know as I know now without any reserve that the things the Lord has told me are true. And I pray that becasue i am writing it down that at those times of disrouagemnt I can reflect on how I truly feel now and know that all is how it should be and Satan is the one that wants us to doubt and lose faith. he wants us to doubt just a little so he can sneak in with his craftiness. I pray that I can never doubt agian. But we are human and it does happen. But I will never forget how i felt and the overall love and joy and peace that makes me want to share with everyone so they can feel the same happiness and joy. I am so blessed!

They like me, they really like me

As for the title of this post, I will explain in a bit. I am sorry that I havent updated for a week. Oddly enough things have been crazy busy. I know I am in the hospital and things should be calm and I should be getting all sorts of rest, well it doesnt always happen. Anyway, my health is progressively getting better. I did my lung tests on Monday and was pretty sure that they would be horrible... sure enough I was not disappointed. They were worse than when I came in to the hospital. I knew that from my procedure and all that went on last week this would most likely occur. But I am happy to report that in a record time from monday to today,(thursday) my numbers have jumped dramatically, not to where they should be yet, but definitley a good sign. My doctors can't quite figure it out. Unfortunately for them they don't know the power of the priesthood. I know that Heavenly Father is truly mindful of what is going on and gives me the peace I need to know that all will be well. As for the title of my post, well I have had I think a record of visitors for one hospital stay and escpecially for one weekend. It has been so nice to visit with people, some that I havent seen in nearly 5 years. 3 of my old roomates from Snow came up and it was so fun to see them and reminicse, catch up on what everyone is doing and just laugh. I miss those girls. We were also surprised by Bens grandparents from his dads side. They came up on Saturday, Ben was gone when they first came so I had a really good visit with them before he got here. Then they left and came back when his cousin from that side came with his family. It was really good to visit with all of them. It is so strange how comfortable it all is. We just met these people 8 months ago and have only seen them a handful of times, but yet it is all so familiar and the love we feel from them is amazing! On Tuesday night Bens uncle Mark came to visit as well. We have been to his house once but really other than the funeral that is the only time we have seen him. I didnt think he would stay very long but he ended up staying aobut 1 1/2 hours. We talked about so many different things, it was so good to visit with him and get to know him better. They are all so amazing. I think Mark got a bit more information than he wanted, I showed him my blog and he read the 28 dumbest things I have ever done. That will scare anyone! So all in all it has been good to get to know the Kizerians better and fun to visit with those I havent seen for a while. It is so nice to feel so loved by many people. I feel so overly blessed. It is so nice to know that there are people that truly care. I hope all of you know that I would be there indeed if you were in the hospital or in need. Thanks everyone for your love and concern!

Things are not always as they seem

So as I posted before I got sick and came in the hospital. I was a little annoyed because I had been feeling great, the best in a long time. Well, I knew that it was time and didnt think much of it although it was great that I was sick and not needing to be on oxygen continually. Usually when i get sick that is one of the first signs that I need to be hospitalized. I came and did my lung tests and was a little surprised at how low they were, lower than they had been in 2 years. Well this is just all sorts of crazy but okay we'll deal. I still thought just a regular stay, get things back to baseline. My first day was filled with the usual craziness of getting the picc line in before the night ends. I swear it takes forever. Then getting all my meds situated. I finally got to sleep about midnight. At 4 a.m. they came to draw blood, oh the joys of getting rest in the hospital. Finally I start to settle back down and low and behold BLOOD. I started coughing up quite a bit of blood. I surprisingly wasnt shocked or panicked. I felt peace. I know that came from the Lord and I am grateful. Well everything went fine that day, tired from lack of sleep but nothing out of the ordinary well low and behold at 5:30 I got up to get in the shower since I was all sorts of stink and low and behold, BLOOD! I was so annoyed at this point. Actually frustrated is a better word. They ended up having to go and do an embolization which means they put a wire up through my groin add some contrast dye that shows my lungs and the arteries in my lung and put coils in the spots that look like they have been bleeding. It took nearly 5 hours yesterday but hopefully they were able to take care of it. I did have another small bleed last night at 11:00 but pray that that will be the last of it. My frustration mostly comes from my last hospital stay in February when I did a lot of "soul searching" and realized a few things that the the Lord has in store for me and how those things would be accomplished. Also through blessings I have been able to have these things repeated many times. I have often wondered how on earth it could all happen, but have been reminded many times as to the power that God has and the miracles that he can produce. However I did not perceive coughing up blood and having to have a small surgery to repair it. Amazingly enough before I came in I was at my brother Caseys homecoming when a member of the stake presidency stopped me and asked me if I would speak in Stake Conference on the 6th of Septemeber. I was shocked and not very excited to say the least. I told him I would and then he told me the scripture I was to speak on. I went home and looked it up and immediately began to cry. It is D&C 98:1-2 2 Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament—the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted. 3 Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord. It has been a great scripture to refer to during this hospital stay. I know that He will keep his promises as I do what he has asked of me. It is a great feeling. Although I do not know what else I will need to go through for it to happen all I need to know is that it will happen and he will help me through all the other stuff. It gives me great peace in light of all that has occurred. I have truly felt my saviors arms lovingly around me.

I spoke to soon

Well here I am writing from the hospital. I guess I spoke too soon about being so healthy, I think I shouldnt speak out loud about how good I feel. It usually comes back to bite me:) So I ended up getting a cold which went to my lungs and started all sorts of problems. I have coughed like I have never coughed before which is saying a lot. I do have to say though that I am so absolutely grateful for the power of the priesthood and that all worthy males can have this gift. I recived a blessing a last Wednesday when I could tell that I was getting more sick than originally thought. It told me a lot of things that I already knew but gave me comfort just the same. Then yesterday when Ben brought me up to the hospital I wasnt sure whether to have him give me another blessing or not. We decided that all was well. Well after some craziness in the wee hours of the morning this morning I knew that I needed another blessing. Luckily we have some good friends that live right in Salt Lake. So our good friend Jake came up and was able to give me the blessing that I needed for comfort and piece of mind. I am just so grateful to have such great friends that live their lives worthy to be able to administer their priesthood ordinances when called upon. It is a great feeling to know that when my family is unavailable I can call on many others to do the same thing. What an amazing thing the lord has given us. I truly feel blessed to be able to always have that knowledge that gives me such great peace. Thank you Jake for your friendship and worthiness and thanks Erin for lending him for a bit. You guys are awesome!

A Sad Day

Yesterday was an emotional day for me. A friend that I met online on a cystic fibrosis forum passed away last week. We met nearly 3 years ago and it has been interesting to know her and share in her experiences. She was LDS as well which makes it easier to talk with people. I was able to attend her graveside. They didnt have a funeral persay, but this was a very beautiful experience. There was a viewing Mon. night that I was not able to attend. Let me just start back on Monday of last week. I emailed Roshelle to see how things were going. I hadnt heard from her in a while and had been crazy busy. I felt terrible for not emailing sooner. I then recieved an email on Tuesday night from her basically telling me goodbye. I literally felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I knew that things were terrible and I honestly thought she was going to die nearly two months ago, but Roshelle has always been a fighter and I guess it kind of took me off guard. I thought she would show them one last time. But I was happy for her release to know that she would suffer no longer. I wasn't sure when she passed until I called her husband on Thursday and he shared those special moments with me. She truly fought to the end. She was such an amazing person. I then left for vacation after talking to her husband, with Roshelle constantly on my mind. When I returned home I had a message from her husband asking if I would say the closing pray at the graveside. I was truly humbled that they would include me in this special day. I called J and told him I would be honored. I got to the graveside that morning and saw J, we hugged and I had no words. What do you say to someone that just lost their love? I went and got a seat and looked at her program. On it was the beautiful picture that was posted in the obituary along with this scripture, that is actually my motto for life. Proverbs 3:5-6: 5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. I knew that we had special bond, and it became that much stronger. My eyes began to well up and then I looked at the back of the program. I found this scripture that I sent to Ro in an email probably 6 weeks ago. I found it very fitting. I had no idea that they were putting it on her program and the tears began to spill over. Enos 1:27: 27 And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen. I know without a doubt that Ro is breathing easy and she is free from the pains of this world and a body that would know longer support her giant spirit. Her husband did a beautiful job at speaking and I know that they can be together again for eternity. It truly was a beautiful day. I have felt many things with Ros passing, guilt being a big one, gulity because I am living and actually healthier than I have been in a long time and I have had to watch her struggle and decrease in health. I have now changed that guilt into overwhelming gratitude that I am able to be here with my husband and daughter and pray that I don't take one moment for granite. I pray that we can all hug our loved ones a little tighter tonight and let them know just how much we love them. I let Ros parents know that she touched many lives more than I think any of us know. Her blog was roroisland2.blogspot.com for anyone that would like to read it.

Memories

Here is a fun little game...Leave a comment on my blog of a memory that you and I have had together. It doesn't matter if you've known me for a short time, or a long time, anything you remember! Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.On your mark...get set...blog your memories!!

All things rolled into one!

So no, I havent been a very good poster. I figure once every two weeks will show everything of excitement that we do. We can be very boring:) So what we have been up to?
Father's Day...
breakfast in bed. What more could be wanted. I also got Ben a firepit. I need to take a picture. We have spent many nights out roasting and it has been awesome.


Girls Camp...
Every year I honestly dread girls camp. I have to wear oxygen continually when I am in the mountains and it is a pain to say the least, but I got over myself and decided that I would stay most of the time this year. I slept over for two nights and had a great time with my girls. They are all awesome and unique. They are always teaching me new things and helping me be a better person. I love you girls!


our bishop(my brother) is crazy and becomes like the girls when he is there.


Me and my girls, these girls are seriously the most amazing girls I have ever been around.


My 2nd counselor DeAnn, and my Secretary Janet. I couldnt do it without them and they are great friends.

4-wheeleer ride...
This past Saturday we went on a picnic on our 4 wheeler. It was awesome. Cambree loves it. Her and her dad make me a little nervous. I am not sure that I can send the two of them off without me. We had a really good time and it helps with my buyers remorse from the purchase of the 4-wheeler. It really is something fun we can do as a family.

Our House

There are a few that have not yet seen our house that have wanted me to take pics (namely Lyndsay) so this is for you! I don't have our bedrooms, bathroom, computer room, or any of upstairs which consists of Cambrees bedroom and playroom. Maybe later. Anyway, we love our home and Ben did a great job figuring it all out. I did pick the paint colors but mostly Ben picked everything else.


Our Living Room

Another angle of Living Room

Our Dining Room, attached to kitchen

Our Kitchen

Sitting Room

Area leading upstairs