A Sad Day

Yesterday was an emotional day for me. A friend that I met online on a cystic fibrosis forum passed away last week. We met nearly 3 years ago and it has been interesting to know her and share in her experiences. She was LDS as well which makes it easier to talk with people. I was able to attend her graveside. They didnt have a funeral persay, but this was a very beautiful experience. There was a viewing Mon. night that I was not able to attend. Let me just start back on Monday of last week. I emailed Roshelle to see how things were going. I hadnt heard from her in a while and had been crazy busy. I felt terrible for not emailing sooner. I then recieved an email on Tuesday night from her basically telling me goodbye. I literally felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I knew that things were terrible and I honestly thought she was going to die nearly two months ago, but Roshelle has always been a fighter and I guess it kind of took me off guard. I thought she would show them one last time. But I was happy for her release to know that she would suffer no longer. I wasn't sure when she passed until I called her husband on Thursday and he shared those special moments with me. She truly fought to the end. She was such an amazing person. I then left for vacation after talking to her husband, with Roshelle constantly on my mind. When I returned home I had a message from her husband asking if I would say the closing pray at the graveside. I was truly humbled that they would include me in this special day. I called J and told him I would be honored. I got to the graveside that morning and saw J, we hugged and I had no words. What do you say to someone that just lost their love? I went and got a seat and looked at her program. On it was the beautiful picture that was posted in the obituary along with this scripture, that is actually my motto for life. Proverbs 3:5-6: 5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. I knew that we had special bond, and it became that much stronger. My eyes began to well up and then I looked at the back of the program. I found this scripture that I sent to Ro in an email probably 6 weeks ago. I found it very fitting. I had no idea that they were putting it on her program and the tears began to spill over. Enos 1:27: 27 And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen. I know without a doubt that Ro is breathing easy and she is free from the pains of this world and a body that would know longer support her giant spirit. Her husband did a beautiful job at speaking and I know that they can be together again for eternity. It truly was a beautiful day. I have felt many things with Ros passing, guilt being a big one, gulity because I am living and actually healthier than I have been in a long time and I have had to watch her struggle and decrease in health. I have now changed that guilt into overwhelming gratitude that I am able to be here with my husband and daughter and pray that I don't take one moment for granite. I pray that we can all hug our loved ones a little tighter tonight and let them know just how much we love them. I let Ros parents know that she touched many lives more than I think any of us know. Her blog was roroisland2.blogspot.com for anyone that would like to read it.