They like me, they really like me

As for the title of this post, I will explain in a bit. I am sorry that I havent updated for a week. Oddly enough things have been crazy busy. I know I am in the hospital and things should be calm and I should be getting all sorts of rest, well it doesnt always happen. Anyway, my health is progressively getting better. I did my lung tests on Monday and was pretty sure that they would be horrible... sure enough I was not disappointed. They were worse than when I came in to the hospital. I knew that from my procedure and all that went on last week this would most likely occur. But I am happy to report that in a record time from monday to today,(thursday) my numbers have jumped dramatically, not to where they should be yet, but definitley a good sign. My doctors can't quite figure it out. Unfortunately for them they don't know the power of the priesthood. I know that Heavenly Father is truly mindful of what is going on and gives me the peace I need to know that all will be well. As for the title of my post, well I have had I think a record of visitors for one hospital stay and escpecially for one weekend. It has been so nice to visit with people, some that I havent seen in nearly 5 years. 3 of my old roomates from Snow came up and it was so fun to see them and reminicse, catch up on what everyone is doing and just laugh. I miss those girls. We were also surprised by Bens grandparents from his dads side. They came up on Saturday, Ben was gone when they first came so I had a really good visit with them before he got here. Then they left and came back when his cousin from that side came with his family. It was really good to visit with all of them. It is so strange how comfortable it all is. We just met these people 8 months ago and have only seen them a handful of times, but yet it is all so familiar and the love we feel from them is amazing! On Tuesday night Bens uncle Mark came to visit as well. We have been to his house once but really other than the funeral that is the only time we have seen him. I didnt think he would stay very long but he ended up staying aobut 1 1/2 hours. We talked about so many different things, it was so good to visit with him and get to know him better. They are all so amazing. I think Mark got a bit more information than he wanted, I showed him my blog and he read the 28 dumbest things I have ever done. That will scare anyone! So all in all it has been good to get to know the Kizerians better and fun to visit with those I havent seen for a while. It is so nice to feel so loved by many people. I feel so overly blessed. It is so nice to know that there are people that truly care. I hope all of you know that I would be there indeed if you were in the hospital or in need. Thanks everyone for your love and concern!

Things are not always as they seem

So as I posted before I got sick and came in the hospital. I was a little annoyed because I had been feeling great, the best in a long time. Well, I knew that it was time and didnt think much of it although it was great that I was sick and not needing to be on oxygen continually. Usually when i get sick that is one of the first signs that I need to be hospitalized. I came and did my lung tests and was a little surprised at how low they were, lower than they had been in 2 years. Well this is just all sorts of crazy but okay we'll deal. I still thought just a regular stay, get things back to baseline. My first day was filled with the usual craziness of getting the picc line in before the night ends. I swear it takes forever. Then getting all my meds situated. I finally got to sleep about midnight. At 4 a.m. they came to draw blood, oh the joys of getting rest in the hospital. Finally I start to settle back down and low and behold BLOOD. I started coughing up quite a bit of blood. I surprisingly wasnt shocked or panicked. I felt peace. I know that came from the Lord and I am grateful. Well everything went fine that day, tired from lack of sleep but nothing out of the ordinary well low and behold at 5:30 I got up to get in the shower since I was all sorts of stink and low and behold, BLOOD! I was so annoyed at this point. Actually frustrated is a better word. They ended up having to go and do an embolization which means they put a wire up through my groin add some contrast dye that shows my lungs and the arteries in my lung and put coils in the spots that look like they have been bleeding. It took nearly 5 hours yesterday but hopefully they were able to take care of it. I did have another small bleed last night at 11:00 but pray that that will be the last of it. My frustration mostly comes from my last hospital stay in February when I did a lot of "soul searching" and realized a few things that the the Lord has in store for me and how those things would be accomplished. Also through blessings I have been able to have these things repeated many times. I have often wondered how on earth it could all happen, but have been reminded many times as to the power that God has and the miracles that he can produce. However I did not perceive coughing up blood and having to have a small surgery to repair it. Amazingly enough before I came in I was at my brother Caseys homecoming when a member of the stake presidency stopped me and asked me if I would speak in Stake Conference on the 6th of Septemeber. I was shocked and not very excited to say the least. I told him I would and then he told me the scripture I was to speak on. I went home and looked it up and immediately began to cry. It is D&C 98:1-2 2 Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth, and are recorded with this seal and testament—the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted. 3 Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord. It has been a great scripture to refer to during this hospital stay. I know that He will keep his promises as I do what he has asked of me. It is a great feeling. Although I do not know what else I will need to go through for it to happen all I need to know is that it will happen and he will help me through all the other stuff. It gives me great peace in light of all that has occurred. I have truly felt my saviors arms lovingly around me.

I spoke to soon

Well here I am writing from the hospital. I guess I spoke too soon about being so healthy, I think I shouldnt speak out loud about how good I feel. It usually comes back to bite me:) So I ended up getting a cold which went to my lungs and started all sorts of problems. I have coughed like I have never coughed before which is saying a lot. I do have to say though that I am so absolutely grateful for the power of the priesthood and that all worthy males can have this gift. I recived a blessing a last Wednesday when I could tell that I was getting more sick than originally thought. It told me a lot of things that I already knew but gave me comfort just the same. Then yesterday when Ben brought me up to the hospital I wasnt sure whether to have him give me another blessing or not. We decided that all was well. Well after some craziness in the wee hours of the morning this morning I knew that I needed another blessing. Luckily we have some good friends that live right in Salt Lake. So our good friend Jake came up and was able to give me the blessing that I needed for comfort and piece of mind. I am just so grateful to have such great friends that live their lives worthy to be able to administer their priesthood ordinances when called upon. It is a great feeling to know that when my family is unavailable I can call on many others to do the same thing. What an amazing thing the lord has given us. I truly feel blessed to be able to always have that knowledge that gives me such great peace. Thank you Jake for your friendship and worthiness and thanks Erin for lending him for a bit. You guys are awesome!

A Sad Day

Yesterday was an emotional day for me. A friend that I met online on a cystic fibrosis forum passed away last week. We met nearly 3 years ago and it has been interesting to know her and share in her experiences. She was LDS as well which makes it easier to talk with people. I was able to attend her graveside. They didnt have a funeral persay, but this was a very beautiful experience. There was a viewing Mon. night that I was not able to attend. Let me just start back on Monday of last week. I emailed Roshelle to see how things were going. I hadnt heard from her in a while and had been crazy busy. I felt terrible for not emailing sooner. I then recieved an email on Tuesday night from her basically telling me goodbye. I literally felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I knew that things were terrible and I honestly thought she was going to die nearly two months ago, but Roshelle has always been a fighter and I guess it kind of took me off guard. I thought she would show them one last time. But I was happy for her release to know that she would suffer no longer. I wasn't sure when she passed until I called her husband on Thursday and he shared those special moments with me. She truly fought to the end. She was such an amazing person. I then left for vacation after talking to her husband, with Roshelle constantly on my mind. When I returned home I had a message from her husband asking if I would say the closing pray at the graveside. I was truly humbled that they would include me in this special day. I called J and told him I would be honored. I got to the graveside that morning and saw J, we hugged and I had no words. What do you say to someone that just lost their love? I went and got a seat and looked at her program. On it was the beautiful picture that was posted in the obituary along with this scripture, that is actually my motto for life. Proverbs 3:5-6: 5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. I knew that we had special bond, and it became that much stronger. My eyes began to well up and then I looked at the back of the program. I found this scripture that I sent to Ro in an email probably 6 weeks ago. I found it very fitting. I had no idea that they were putting it on her program and the tears began to spill over. Enos 1:27: 27 And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest. And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father. Amen. I know without a doubt that Ro is breathing easy and she is free from the pains of this world and a body that would know longer support her giant spirit. Her husband did a beautiful job at speaking and I know that they can be together again for eternity. It truly was a beautiful day. I have felt many things with Ros passing, guilt being a big one, gulity because I am living and actually healthier than I have been in a long time and I have had to watch her struggle and decrease in health. I have now changed that guilt into overwhelming gratitude that I am able to be here with my husband and daughter and pray that I don't take one moment for granite. I pray that we can all hug our loved ones a little tighter tonight and let them know just how much we love them. I let Ros parents know that she touched many lives more than I think any of us know. Her blog was roroisland2.blogspot.com for anyone that would like to read it.