Time

It's amazing how time works. My thoughts this past week have been turned to two things, both involve getting each child here. A year ago at this time we were getting ready to transfer our beautiful embryos into my angel sister in law. Seven years ago at this time was a very different story...

I know, every year I revisit the greatest and most challenging weeks of my life, so if you're tired of reading about it stop now.

I don't know why I feel the need to relive these events every year. I believe it is because I am still, and will forever be in awe at the grace of God.

The moments that have brought my children into this world are nearest and dearest to my heart. It is through these events that have shaped me and shaken me to my very core. They have brought me closer to God and my Savior and shown me with God all things are possible.  I have learned just how strong and determined I am with the help of his love and grace.

I wont say the past 7 years have been easy, they haven't been. Fulfilling? More than I ever thought possible.

I remember coming off the vent for the first time and being wheeled from ICU back to my regular room. They wheeled me from my room in my bed and as I was about to head through the double doors I saw one of the amazing doctors that had helped save my life. He saluted me. I've never been saluted in my life and probably never will be again.  It was a very poignant reminder that I had survived, I was a fighter and I was going to continue fighting. From that moment on I have vowed to go through this life and this disease fighting with everything I had and hopefully doing so with dignity and grace.

If someone would have told me 7 years ago that I would be where I am now I'm not sure I would have believed them. I had Drs telling me I'd probably never get off continuous oxygen, that I would never have another child, and that I had a 50% chance that I'd live five years. The older I get and the more I learn I realize I never should have been able to do any of these things. But I did. I survived, I'm still surviving; I'm still fighting. Believe me, I know it is not because of me that I have been able to do these things, but through a loving Heavenly Father that allowed me to live if I was willing to work for it. Words will never describe my love and gratitude for him allowing me to be here and raise my children. The past 7 years with my beautiful daughter have been more amazing than anyone could have told me. Now being a mom of two I never knew my heart could love so much, so deeply. I understand more fully the love our Heavenly Father and Savior have for us. I would have given my life for my little girl if it was asked of me, I'm just glad I didn't have to.

To read more about bringing Cambree into this world read here