A Cure

I just read a line in a book that I could completely relate to, it read:
"A new kind of freedom. But then...what? What would my life be like on a daily basis? Most of it has been consumed with the acquisition of food (in my case Cystic Fibrosis). Take that away and I'm not really sure who I am, what my identity is."

-The Hunger Games

For anyone that knows me really well, the word cure was never part of my vocabulary. I remember at times going to the CF doctor as a kid and them saying, "10 years, in 10 years we'll have a cure.". It was strange. Mostly strange in the fact that I didn't eat it up. In reality I didn't believe them and when I would think about not having Cystic Fibrosis anymore it scared me. I remember whenever I would tell people that they thought I was nuts. How could I not want a cure?

Ive never felt like CF defines me, but it has definitely molded and shaped me into who I am. I'm grateful for it. I feel I'm a better person for having it, not better than anyone else, it's jut helped me to be the best version of myself. The thought of losing that made me feel like I would lose, well, me. Over the years as I have had to deal with the really ugly side of CF my views have changed some. I don't think I ever actually prayed for a cure until I had my daughter and felt my life literally slipping away from me. I have never wanted anything so bad. Before, I was young and naive and had not seen or experienced whatCystic Fibrosis does, how it plays out. Now having experienced it first hand and luckily coming most of the way back, the thoughts of a cure is something I cling to, I have hope. With the new drug that just came out I feel there is hope just over the horizon and I pray that it comes sooner rather than later. I'll figure out who I am without all the treatments and hospital stays, I have a feeling it won't be too difficult.