"whats so special about mothers?"

Im sure many of you have either seen or heard of the movie Mars Needs Moms.  But have you ever read the book?  It is a beautiful book with an even more beautiful message.  Everytime I read this book to my children, I cry.  As I read it to Lawson this morning my reaction was no different.  It got me thinking about my relationship with my children and then even further my relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Those that know me well, or have been reading this blog for awhile understand that every April memories come rushing back to me and envelope my soul.  They take me back every year to the time that I was pregnant and struggling for survival, mine and my daughters.  It never fails.  Its not conscious and sometimes I dont even realize it is happening until I am fully engulfed in my emotions and sit wondering what on earth is the matter with me, only then to realize it is that time of year.  I dont dread it, its not a sad time, but a time of rememberance and reflection that leads me to ponder much about my life and my purpose.  This year was no different.  In all honesty, I think this year is slightly harder than the past few have been.  It is this realization that my daughter is turning 8 years old.  In our religion, this is a very significant age.  It is the age of accountability, the age where they are baptized and make covenants with our Heavenly Father, the age where they receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.  The past nine months, all I keep asking myself is, "Have I done enough, have I taught her enough?"  I dont think I will ever know the answer to this question.  I can only pray that I have done my best and wherever Ben and I have been lacking that Heavenly Father will make up the rest. 

I remember when Cambree wasnt even 1 and I was told that I had a 50% chance that I would live 5 years.  I went through so many different scenarios in my head and wondered, truly wondered if I would live to see the day that my daughter would be immersed into the waters of baptism.  If I would be here for that glorious day.  Im so happy to know that I will be and even more grateful that I am doing as well as I am healthwise.  It has definitely been a ride.  As I look over the past 8 years I wonder if I have been the best mother I can be.  Honestly, probably not all the time.  There are times I have yelled when I shouldnt have yelled, times when I didnt listen to her and I should have, times I should have taken her to the park or for a walk.  But dont we all have these moments?  I know I need to be a better mother.  I know I am harder on myself than anybody else could be, I know that I am doing my best and most importantly I know that my daughter loves me anyway. 

To conclude my jumble of thoughts, as I read Mars Needs Moms and I think on the love that mothers have for their children, that yes, they truly would give their life for the life of their child.  I think on the Savior and especially this Easter season the sacrifices that he made for all of us. I know that being a mother helps me understand a tiny bit more the love that the Savior has for me.  He did die for us, He suffered for us, and as a mother we would do the same for our babies.  Fortunately, most of us arent asked to, but it allows us to also have a better relationship with our Savior because we can understand at least to some degree why he did what he did for us.  Im so grateful for that gift and so grateful for the knowledge that I have of the atonement and sacrifice that was given on my behalf.  I pray that I can be a better mother with each passing day When the time comes I pray that I can look my Savior in his loving eyes and know that I did my best and that my children will truly know what is so special about mothers.