I know I need to update with pics and Christmas and all that jazz but I have wanted to share a few things that happened while trying to get Lawson here. I wasn't able to share any of the leading up to process and want to share some amazing experiences that occurred during that time. What many people may not understand is that I have been trying to figure out how to get my son here for years. Ever since Cambree was born I had been questioning if Ben and I were supposed to have another baby and for years I felt that I was told that He would let me know when the time was right. Finally, in Feb. of 2008 I received personal revelation that I was going to have a son and that he was waiting for me to get ready. During that year and a half before I finally did figure it out I went through a lot of struggles and at one point was nearly without hope and to be without hope is to be without faith. I dont suggest anyone try to get to this point. It isnt pretty. But luckily, I have a loving Heavenly Father that knows me and knows what I need when I need it. At this particular time it was a conference talk that I didnt hear at conference but read when the Ensign came out. The talk was called The Infinite Power of Hope by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. It renewed my sense of Hope. http://lds.org/ensign/2008/11/the-infinite-power-of-hope?lang=eng It talks about his mother nearly losing her children at a train station and how she was frantically searching for her children. I could feel his mothers angst as I too at that very moment was frantically searching for my child, trying to figure out how to bring him to this earth. Trying to make our family whole. He said, "Her faith overcame her fear and her hope overcame her despair." And I knew at that moment that I read this that I needed to be like this courageous woman. Quoting directly from my journal after reading this talk I wrote: I thought of all that I have been told about having a son waiting for me and that I have to do everything I can to find him, to be able to have him...As I think about this the same thoughts come to m mind, after you do all you can do he will make up the difference. At the time I didnt know that meant my sister in law having my son for me. As I look back at all that lead up to Lawson being here I can see the Lords hand every step of the way. I know that if we try our best, give our all and are worthy and willing He will truly show us the course we should take. My faith has grown 10 fold. I have learned to not doubt the answers I receive and to know that He speaks personally to me. I am so blessed and I am filled with Hope.